NSFW Sunday Will Seduce You With Your Actually Embarrassing Lesbian Sex Stories! | Autostraddle

Thanks for visiting Embarrassing Lesbian Gender Story-Fest 2012!

If you’ve disregarded:

Maybe you’ve observed exactly how every time anybody brings up some thing gross about lesbian intercourse, we constantly backlink to
the nails blog post
? That’s because online seriously lacks the lesbian/bisexual/queer-girl-person sex exact carbon copy of Cosmopolitan’s Sex Stories or Sassy’s

Mortifying Moments.

You most likely have actually an awkward sex tale you wish to tell the net. For rewards! Your story tends to be small or long (50 to 4500 terms seems about correct) and that can be cringe-worthy or humorous.

The winner will receive the Pop your own Top package from
Great Oscillations
(a version of this kit was once
examined by NSFW Sunday
), including:

+ Hitachi Magic Wand

+ Fuchsia Pop Top Deluxe Silicone connection

+ 2 oz. package of Kindly Fluid Lube

+ And internet popularity!

Vote for your favorite from now until monday
! The champion will be revealed next week. And from now on: it’s the perfect time. Under, by far the most humiliating, mortifying, shameful, or hilarious lesbian gender stories posted by you.

1. Lesbian Auto-Sex

My personal present gf and that I were on our in the past through the cinema one-night, and since I happened to ben’t asleep over we made a decision to pull over into an area to produce “use” of my vehicle. Extended tale short, we’d great gender and decided to keep, I went to switch the auto around, therefore had been completely stuck into the dirt. We tried every thing to get it down, including her attempting to press it leading to the woman slipping dull on her behalf face in mud. Overall I got to phone my father (exactly who didn’t know about gayness or stated girl) at 1:30 a.m., clarify we were trapped in a field, the reason why in the world we’d even held it’s place in the field whatsoever, and get him ahead tow you aside.

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2. Not Sex regarding Seashore

You probably know how they do say that “intercourse regarding coastline” is actually hot and interesting and they have a cocktail named after it? Really that is BULLSHIT. Although whoever “they” are most likely designed like, a cozy bright and sunny beach with blankets and perhaps a chaise, rather than a cold, windy night on Manhattan Beach which, if you find yourselfn’t from the Los Angeles area, is similar to the anal area of beaches … in a bad means. Anyways, i am going upon this girl I’m matchmaking, nevertheless wind keeps blowing mud in my face/in their vagina, and that I’m coughing and it’s really mostly humiliating. Making sure that was actually poor. But exactly how do I get me? We get back to the woman destination, where I proceed to get therefore stoned that I literally COULDN’T FIND HER VAGINA. Cannot believe it is. I passed around around her legs. The worst component is, bc the lesbo area in LA is really tiny, I see this lady everyday. As a classic YM concern might state, OMG MORTIFYING.

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3. Fucking as well as the authorities

The summertime before university, I got my personal first sweetheart, and once i came across the wonders of homosexual sexytimes I was demonstrably preoccupied, to the stage to be willing to do it practically everywhere. Show A: one-night after a dinner out, we decided to park my car behind a closed-for-the-summer elementary school and go at it. A lady’s gotta would just what a girl’s gotta carry out, amirite??

So things are heading great until we come across headlights behind united states and we understand THIS IS THE COPS. We obtain dressed as fast as humanly possible and after a few frantic moments of, “YOU’RE SAID TO BE THE BUTCH ONE,” “zero YOU WILL BE,” we choose to just take equivalent duty therefore both step out of the car. The policeman is a huge old dude and obviously surprised to see two ladies arise through the car. He is all, “what exactly are you girls doing straight back right here?” and I do not also imagine gender happened to him as a chance, despite the fact that we had been flushed, disheveled, the automobile was steamy, etc. HETEROSEXISM AT ITS BEST! Therefore we’re like, “Oh, uh, chilling out, sorry.” He eyes all of us suspiciously and claims, “Well, I’ve got to bring your details.” My personal girl is freaking away about the woman parents acquiring wind of anything, but the guy assures united states it is simply routine treatment. So he hands you a notepad and has now us write-down our labels (the reason why he don’t simply ask for our very own permits, You will find not a clue). He shines their torch so we can easily see the notepad and then we notice … my girl’s hand is included in bloodstream. I guess I’d obtained my period during sex together withn’t noticed. Thus IMMEDIATELY the policeman is much like, “WAIT, YOU’RE BLEEDING. WHAT’S GOING ON RIGHT HERE?” And my girl sees and freaks away and makes up some crazy tale about having cut herself regarding the pocket knife on the keychain. The cop insists on searching the automobile (for systems?) and, finding nothing, at long last ultimately ultimately lets us get. However before my personal girlfriend features accidentally become my duration bloodstream throughout his notepad.

We vowed never to have intercourse behind a college once again ( not never ever in a car, cuz that’s only too good), subsequently laughed for like six months right. For years afterward we would joke regarding time we had gotten caught ‘”red-handed.”

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4. Moist T-Shirt Contest

My home is an university dorm, as really does my today ex-girlfriend. One-night we were in her area, having a smashing good time trying out the strap-on she’d just purchased from Edens Fantasies. Just as situations were going to actually “explode,” the fire alarm moved off. My sweetheart ended up being looking to get the band on off, nevertheless straps happened to be twisted, individuals were yelling inside the hall way, our RA was actually knocking throughout the doorway, I was naked and I could not find my personal bra, I didn’t have footwear, she had been twisted into the damn use… She finished up only pulling the toy from the funnel, putting some sweatpants on over it, so we went outside, neither folks in boots, me personally just sporting a t-shirt and a couple of her short pants… and it’s pouring. My personal t-shirt is white. There isn’t a bra. Obviously, it had been an uncomfortable night.

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5. The 69’ers

My sweetheart and I happened to be attempting to 69 the very first time. We thought it could be beautiful to use new things during intercourse. I happened to be on the bottom and she ended up being on the top. Okay, thus picture my personal face-on her pussy and really the others is up to your own imagination. Well I found myself sorts of uneasy since I did not have much head service. So I made a decision to raise my mind a little so as that I could put some cushions under there or something. Well… when I had been trying to move my head some she need noticed one thing was actually going on and slightly pressed down. Well, perhaps not this type of recommended because the woman whole vagina/bottom 1 / 2 went right up into my personal face. Yea, we laughed for a whole couple of minutes from then on.

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6. Oops!

As soon as in twelfth grade I found myself fingerbanging this truly hot girl at the woman house and she squirted. She was really surprised, and I also maybe was as well, but she began weeping! And I was actually younger and really peculiar, and that I still don’t know why but we began chuckling, hard. At which point she slapped me (completely deserved it), went along to the bathroom returned and gathered my personal clothing (walking forms). Making sure that was actually adequate but, I am not saying actually joking while I claim that every single day this story haunts me personally i need to air-five Dan Savage as it so gets better: as I have always been making we see the woman mama and I get right away nervous but act attractive and innocent because I happened to be a complete charmer: “Bye, thanks for having myself,” and various other this type of bullshit. As I switch far from the lady, she grabbed myself by shoulder and stated, “Don’t you actually drilling touch my daughter again, dyke.” If only I would said, and even just believed one thing brilliant and bitchy but i simply stated, “sorry sorry” performed this shameful bowing movement and then i-cried from the drive residence.

We probably wrecked that family though so it is cool.

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7. Ice

One-time I was having sexy time with my girl whenever – feeling especially turned on and experimental – we interupted the gender claiming, “I’m going to go get ice cubes, I’ll be right back.” When I ended up being moving away from the sleep my personal sweetheart indicated to a wet area in which I have been, saying, “Look that which you remaining!” and giggling. Laughing, I then pointed in which she was and stated, “Look everything you remaining!” Strike one. Regarding bed where my personal gf have been was a small small streak of poop. She right away burst into tears. I found myself shocked. All of our beautiful time had taken a-sudden turn when it comes to worse. As my personal girl’s sobs became more powerful i came across it harder and harder to supress my laughter until ultimately it burst off mouth. Hit two. During this my gf – however sobbing – stood up and started anxiously stripping the sheets from the bed. She rapidly paced all over room putting brand-new sheets on, blubbering exactly how gross she felt and just how embarrassed she was actually. I helplessly saw and tried to invest terms of service informing her i did not imagine it actually was that gross. “It’s not a problem, you merely didn’t wipe really well!” Strike three. She folded to the flooring at the conclusion of the sleep, pulled the best comforter up around the woman system, sobbed, and consumed a whole field of snacks for the following twenty mins. Ultimately, she calmed down, and then we laugh about this. However, it absolutely was among the funniest and yet the majority of horrifying experiences of my personal love life.

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8. Stuck Fisting

So, my sweetheart and I happened to be seeing some pornography on Cyber Dyke one night and had gotten really engrossed, so we turned it well commit play. I found myself fingerblasting the girl and each time i possibly could believe that she was close to orgasm, I backed-off to try to lengthen situations. This proceeded for half an hour. I finally had adequate and desired the lady to complete, and so I worked-up to fisting her, which had been one thing relatively brand new both for of us during the time. Whenever she ultimately came, it had been actually powerful, it really hurt my hand. I gradually went to get my personal hand out and really, she failed to want to overlook it, lol. We had been stuck. I found myself totally panicked, i did not consider I became ever-going for my personal hand-out. Neither certainly one of us knew how to proceed, thus she begrudgingly called her cousin and dished the situation to the lady. I heard uproarious fun through the other end of the cellphone for like 5 minutes, all the while my personal hand still is stuck. Finally, her jackass sibling decided to be wonderful and do just a little Googling about them to aid all of us and that I ultimately worked my fist no-cost. We never existed that down though, the woman brother nonetheless teases me personally about any of it literally always.

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9. Rainbow Gathering

When my girlfriend (of 6+ decades) and I also got together, I became young and inexperienced. Very inexperienced. We had been living in a residence that may be viewed as a type of interior Rainbow Gathering with seven some other roommates, straight across from a few frat houses,and extremely close to the university of a big general public university. No one locked the leading doorway because everyone was too stoned to remember where their particular tips were. My personal girlfriend and I had lately purchased our very first strap-on. While I put it on for this first time, after about an hour or so of strap modifying and dildo positioning, my personal girlfriend burst into stressed laughter. Seeing a dildo unexpectedly sprout from my big-tits, big-ass, buzzcut home probably seemed slightly ridiculous. 10 minutes later on she had gotten throughout the silliness of it all supply myself a blowjob. Then the door exposed. A burly looking, obviously intoxicated frat dude wandered in, stared at united states for an additional, immediately after which mentioned, “Ohhhhhh. Sorry, I was thinking it was my personal pal’s area,” in a tone that conveyed both a sense of shock and exhilaration, like he’d only obtained the lotto or something. And then he stood truth be told there, looking. My personal girl, recovering from the surprise first, told him to get the bang away. The guy turned and was presented with, maybe not to the front door. My personal sweetheart, having turned-in to 6 legs of pure femme anger through this time, had gotten up-and chased him the fuck away from home, naked. I was remaining inside room, choosing whether or not to disturb the delicate stability of straps that presented the dildo positioned or perhaps to place my personal tiger-striped robe (provided to me as a gift from my grandma) on top of the entire ordeal and hope it didn’t fall open. We opted for aforementioned, and timidly made my solution to participate in within the drunk frat guy herding.

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10. Shower World

My personal gf and that I had merely finished setting it up on discreetly in shower on the dressing room in theater at my college. She sweetly kissed myself regarding the check and was available in for a hug. Naturally We right away bro-patted this lady on the straight back with two taps immediately after which thought instantly “what the fuck ended up being that?… I’m hoping she doesn’t notice/say such a thing.” I held on for an extra 2nd to pay your possibly-strange bro pat. However when we pulled apart, she considered me personally, blasts into laughter and mentioned, “Do You only pat myself from the back…?” We seemed down in full embarrassment. “had been that likely to suggest

great work outdated bean

or something like that?” I became awesome petrified of the entire experience at the time but now each time we have a really fantastic rousing rounded of sex someone will get patted regarding back.

Vote for your favorite tale
right here
! Winners shall be established a few weeks.

Countless things occurred in lesbian intercourse recently!

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The Rumpus assessed

The requirement of Select Behaviours

, a collection by Shannon Cain that gives several views on sexuality and identification:

“obvious intimate descriptions gasoline a lot of Cain’s most useful passages, as does the woman refreshingly agnostic and all-embracing viewpoint on sexual desire and identification. In “this is why It Starts,” the protagonist Jane begins the story with a “boy” and a “girl” she likes just as: “your ex is keen on the woman strap-on. The kid is keen on cunnilingus. This is gratifying to Jane. Plus, Jane can tell this into woman: ‘It might be nice in the event the cock happened to be bigger.’ Jane wouldn’t get this statement on child, although it can be slightly true.” Jane ultimately ends up with neither the boy nor your ex, although story never suggests that she should or could get to an identity-limiting epiphany, and as an alternative comes to an end with another type of variety of bittersweet paradox that i will not reveal.”

+ some individuals have-been questioning whether sex dependency is genuine or is manufactured by people who just have most intercourse.
Relating to
the

Vancouver Sun

, feminine sex dependency is growing, although the instances this article functions are flawed (porno, s&m, and achieving matters are all reported as evidence that “this thing is morphing inside front folks”). But odd statements aside, the article raises a few interesting points.
Based on

Jezebel:

“That uncontrollable sexual behavior is actually an agonizing problem is clear, but what’s not yet determined is what, precisely, constitutes the essential difference between intercourse addiction and common compulsive behavior, or if gender addiction even is present, at the very least inside sight of some mental health experts. One critic of sexual dependency alerts that conflating intimate obsession with sex dependency does “real” addicts a disservice. This means, absolutely a significant difference between becoming an alcoholic and preference porno a tad too much. As one example, he provides examples of other pursuits which people engage compulsively— like physical exercise, stamp collecting, and songs fandom. Not one person’s “addicted” to Radiohead. At least, Really don’t think so.”

+ Having a “weird” name can impact your online matchmaking selections.
In accordance with
a research of 47,000 users of a German online dating site, people will “notably ugly” very first labels got a lot fewer profile hits than others with “significantly appealing” labels:

Basic brands tend to be linked to stereotypes. Whenever we become knowledgeable about people, their appearance takes on a role, but thus really does what this person is known as. Which often the very first info we have. This impression has a powerful influence on the way we procedure more information about any of it person. If a person provides a dubious title, we quite often immediately relate him with a dubious stereotype. And we also check out consider all more info according to this dubiousness.

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If flirting is actually an acceptable device for reporters has been the main topic of debate when you look at the UK, as a parliamentary document accredited following the phone-hacking scandal
says it is not
:

“in going “ten techniques used by some in mass media – beware,” it states: “Flirting. Frequently interlinked with alcoholic drinks. Built to get you to drop the defences and state a lot more than you intended. Be mindful.”

Disclaimer:


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